They discuss nurture as unconditional
love; thriving and growing; and learning to love oneself and others, to say
"I love you; you are lovable" (10). Because unconditional love is not enough, the
authors note that limits, skills, and standards-structure-help children learn
healthy habits; develop a sense ofwho they are and who others are; learn values
and ethics; and stay safe. "Children need parents to convey the message, 'You
can do this; I will teach you how; you are capable" (10). Nurture and structure
work together like soft tissuelmuscle and skinlbones: nurture makes the body
move gracefully and structure provides an upright container. Parents learn
nurturing and structuring skills horn their own parents, from others, and by
observing their children.
The authors are hopeful that parents who have learned negative behaviours
can become loving parents. This book may help some parents achieve that goal,
although the positive sections of the book are too brief. The authors suggest,
for example, that it is possible to "redo" particular stages of our lives, to acquire
new attitudes about who we are.

P. 187-188

Growing Up Again: Parenting Ourselves,
Parenting Our Children. Second ed.
Jean Illsley Clarke and Connie Dawson
Minnesota: Hazeldon, 1998
Reviewed by Farah M. Shroff